I’m a married man.
We’ve been together going on 10 years now. 2 children, 2 cross-country moves, and owning our home - it finally happened. I’m at least 1000x times a better man because of her and it’s not even close. Passing through this symbolic threshold has already made a major difference in our relationship.
It’s way deeper than just a ring y’all.
For the longest time, we didn’t believe in marriage.
We’ve been taught, as most folks our age have, that marriage is pointless. It’s an old-school thing. It’s traditional symbolism that doesn’t apply anymore. For the longest time, we didn’t see the need to be married. We loved each other deeply and didn’t see the point of proving it to anyone or making it legal. It didn’t help that our parents on both sides had been divorced too. We didn’t have too many good examples of how it’s supposed to go.
We came around though.
The more we discussed it, grew together, grew individually, the more we realized the profound importance of marriage. It’s a contract to commit our future together. It’s an establishment of love, a deeply symbolic act and ritual to claim your lover as one’s own, forever.
Not to mention that it’s important for our children too. As Amelia has described, when you’re not married, there’s always this faint Exit sign in the corner. Not because that’s what we want, but there’s still the option, culturally & all. Now, with marriage, the Exit sign is gone. Our circle is enclosed. And the shift inward, towards the deepening of our relationship and our family has reached new levels previously incomprehensible.
We opted for an extremely intimate wedding in the mountains this past week.
Not quite elopement, but very low-key. We wanted to retain our hearts and mindset to focus exclusively on the marriage ritual, vows, and commitment. Emotionally, I didn’t really know what to expect. After all, we’ve been together for a decade and I wasn’t sure what new feelings could be evoked.
Boy was I wrong.
The moment her entrance song came on I felt a tidal wave of butterflies and emotion wash over me. Of course, as soon as I turned around to see her I nearly fainted, but definitely cried. Seriously, the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my entire life. Throughout the ceremony, we stared into each other’s eyes & soul as tears streamed and we read our vows. It was the most special day and I’m saving details.
I can’t imagine doing it any other way, waiting this long. It’s been a decade of foreplay in this regard. To have all the exact details so dialed in for this experience, to have a decade to cultivate the love garden from which our vows were plucked. To have our children there to witness our loving commitment to one another.
It’s the most wonderful thing.
It’s a whole new chapter, maybe even a whole new book.
We’re setting out on a new mission in full force. We’re the founding couple of our family for generations to come. What we choose to do, the decisions we make, and the things we’re setting out to do, will positively affect the next 7 generations. That’s the game we’re now playing. We’re creating family values. We’re determining what it means to be a ‘Wilson’.
It feels like we’re building on rock now.
It feels like a new life.
I’m the luckiest man.
Turns out there can be a lot of overlap between building design and building a life. John Ruskin (unknowingly perhaps) tells us how to live life better.
It's never too late to stumble upon an underlying principle of reality. (Especially one that can be put to use immediately)