There are way more people in my life that are lost than those that are self-assured.
On a deep level too.
It’s a problematic theme I continue to observe.
Feeling lost is a challenging experience that can leave us feeling untethered, uncertain, and disconnected from our sense of self.
We are adrift in the world, without a clear sense of purpose or direction. An uncomfortable and unsettling experience to say the least. One where sometimes you’re not sure which way is up or down and you’re so vulnerable and open to answers that either everything or nothing seems to potentially solve the issue.
BUT, feeling lost is a natural and normal part of being a human. Life is cyclical. We all go through periods of uncertainty and transition, followed by corresponding periods of certainty and stability. So, let's cut ourselves some slack for not having all the answers right away.
Feeling lost can actually be an opportunity. By embracing the unknown and getting comfortable in the uncomfortable, we can begin to witness new parts of ourselves emerge and find a reliability within that is consistently there through thick & thin.
Take some time to connect with yourself, explore your inner world, and trust that the answers will come in time.
A crucial aspect of self-assurance is the understanding and connection to our internal resources.
It’s not just about being confident on the outside, it's also about feeling grounded and secure with who you are on the inside. This inner sense of security requires us to develop a rich knowledge of our emotional, physical, and spiritual landscape.
Our emotions are a window into our inner world and we can build greater resilience and self-awareness when we know how to navigate them.
Our physical body is a vital tool in helping us feel grounded and embodied. It’s really hard to catch yourself in the moment when you’re feeling off, but remembering your biology is full of knobs and levers to recalibrate, helps. I recently had a night where I did breathe work, then jumped in the ice cold creek, and then later made love with Amelia - talk about blissed out. Biology can reset you.
And let's not forget about our spiritual resources, which can provide us with a sense of purpose, connection, and meaning. By exploring our spirituality, we can tap into a deeper sense of self and cultivate a sense of trust in God and the greater game.
Knowing your way around the inner world and what’s available to you drastically informs your character and allows for the fertile soil in which self-assurance can bloom.
Self-assurance is an essential quality that can help us navigate the unpredictable and uncertain moments of life.
When we encounter situations that we can't prepare for, like challenges or crises, being able to stay grounded, centered, and focused is crucial.
I remember back in the first few weeks of Covid when everyone was losing their heads. I had very recently become the store manager of a cannabis shop when all of a sudden I was thrust into next level leadership mode as the world entered a pandemic. Almost instantly I went from just learning the job as normal to running two locations simultaneously while navigating the near-impossible logistics of hiring, new rules, and business-as-usual to hold the fort down. AND, despite all of that, I felt immense peace and calmness. Something washed over me as if I had been waiting for the stakes to be high, as if I wanted to operate in these conditions. And I think a lot of that had to do with my self-assuredness.
Self-assurance can help us to trust in our own abilities, maintain our sense of calm and composure, and respond to any situation with a level head.
I’m in love with this idea of intradependence.
To me, it’s the ability to be dropped into anything and feel grounded.
Self-assurance is the best way to reach this state of intradependence, where you feel tapped into your innate strength and rock-solid character.
Even if the ground is shaking beneath our metaphorical feet, this center of gravity can keep you in balance and in flow.
Turns out there can be a lot of overlap between building design and building a life. John Ruskin (unknowingly perhaps) tells us how to live life better.
It's never too late to stumble upon an underlying principle of reality. (Especially one that can be put to use immediately)