Patience is a virtue I'm working on, slowly but surely.
This past week delivered a plethora of insights for me to munch on and soak up as it relates to Life's waiting game.
And I thought sharing the realizations with you would be cool & help you with where you're at on your journey as well.
I'm an insatiably eager type of guy.
To some people I might seem patient and not the type to hurry, but on the inside, deep down, I secretly want everything to go my way ASAP. Like 'right now, can't wait a second longer' kind of rush.
But just the other night I had a dream come to me about the importance of timing.
I am out in the woods and finishing a walk & chat with an internet mentor of mine. Someone who I kind of thought is all show & no soul from a distance. But for whatever reason, his eyes spoke that he is the real deal top to bottom, inside & out.
His eyes spoke that he had become who he had become while still staying true to himself along the way.
He fades as I walk up to this crossbow lying in the leaves. I pick it up, hold it proper, aim at the target, and by default start breathing shallow, tensing a bit as I pull the trigger.
The arrow flies and I'm far from bullseye.
After I woke up from the dream, I let it marinate throughout the day and at some point I realize what the crossbow part was about.
When we're eager, we're excited. When we're excited we speed up. When we speed up, it's not smooth. And when it's not smooth, you're out of the groove.
The correct thing to do is to aim at the target, slow my breathing down, take my time, and exhale as I pull the trigger. Bullseye.
There's actually a type of bow release, where instead of it being a trigger that you pull, it's a squeeze release.
The problem with triggers is that you're well aware of when the arrow is going to fly. As you pull the trigger back, you tense up, which obviously doesn't help your shot.
With the squeeze release trigger, you squeeze squeeze squeeze until at some point the bow string releases and the arrow flies. You're not tensed up and the arrow flies with more accuracy.
SO much life lesson overlap here.
When we are eager, we tense up too. Yes, it's a positive type of excitement, but its negative downside is that we lose our accuracy.
When we breathe in, our heart beat speeds up.
When we breathe out, our heart beat slows down.
Something that my family and I do at dinner in our house is hold hands and pray.
I have everyone start with a huge deep breath, maybe three. If it's been an extra busy or stressful day for us, I'll even recommend that when we blow the air out, we make our lips dramatically flap like a horse.
It's relieving and gets our nervous systems more on the same page before we drop into a Divine thanks.
Weird that I would do this for meals but not apply the same principle to Life's waiting game.
"Whatchu mean Mitch?"
Let me give you an example.
I'm in love with the study of business.
Not even because of the money part, but because to me it's the art of creating a different type of organism.
Something that needs inputs to have outputs which then provide more inputs. Something that can come alive, grow or wither, and change lives in the process.
I fell in love with business as soon as I got my first job and have continued to wrap my head around it at every place I've ever worked.
A part of this study & process is putting what I've learned into practice. This is something that I've done many times over with different side projects & side hustles. It's a ton of fun.
But the pressure gets the best of me sometimes.
"Whatchu mean Mitch?"
I feel embarrassed to have a day job.
And when I'm not on my A-game, this can put my mental in the dumps BUT I have matured in my thinking this week.
This guilt of not owning my own business by 28 is ridiculous.
It hit me recently that for the type of impact I'm wanting to create, it's is going to take time. It is going to take tons of different skills and know-how. And it is not going to work if I shortcut that process.
Did you know that most successful businesses are created by people in their 40s? It's such a no-duh. They have more experience.
Learning of this takes the pressure off. It gives me time to soak up knowledge and learn deeply all the things within business that interests me.
I don't have to force it.
Turns out, (HOLY SHIT. BREAKING NEWS).....I can enjoy it.
I can enjoy the process. I can trust the timing.
This is my damn story anyway and I don't have to play by anyone else's timelines. I don't have to listen to that part of me that's embarrassed to have a day job.
That's immature. That's small boy shit.
Happy to be growing up.
The right things will happen when the right things are ready.
Soul and ego tend to disagree, but syncing them up will unleash your force. Pay attention to doubt because there you'll find an equally proportional opportunity. Doubt, when studied closely, is actually a grand tease.
You're not just one person. You're a community of characters that require maintenance & attention. Sometimes you'll need to be shifting the 'org' around, but it'll be worth to have the right versions of you in place.
Calm Stoke is all about the vibe. It's a combination of controlling your nervous system, judging beliefs based on their utility/results, & maintaining a connection with the Divine.